If our society would implement my “Jersey Rule” (the article of clothing, not the state) we’d make large steps closer to becoming a decent and respectable group of people. The basic gist of the rule is that anyone over the age of 13 and not actively participating on a team sport should not be seen in public wearing any form of athletic jersey. What should be apparent in that rule is how it regulates class back into society, a regulation we’re in desperate need of. With that in mind, another rule is in need of implementation:
If you are over the age of 24 (a generous “college age”) and insist on a mixer with your alcohol of choice (which I will concede reduces your classiness to a near irreparable low), you cannot ask for said alcohol by name brand. I’m sorry, but Jack Daniels and Cola tastes no different than Old Grand Dad mixed with Cola but will show you to be both conscious of your bank account and aware of the crime of mixing good booze with crap mixers (which is close to being “almost smart for knowing you’re stupid”). And do not give me the rigamarole that you can taste the difference between Absolut and Popov when it’s drowning in cranberry juice. If you could, you wouldn’t be mixing it with juice, would ya Diddy?
So let’s keep the jerseys on the players, the cheap booze in your mixed drink, and a little more class in our social gatherings.
